Before Avocado

I grew up in the days when avocados weren’t invented

My days devoid of quinoa or thin serrano ham

My salads were a blend of limp cos lettuce and tomato

My sandwiches were corned beef filled or glutinous tinned spam


Chopped eggs were quite a delicacy for usually we fried them

Spaghetti mystified me and I couldn’t get the hang

Our curry was a Vesta, beef of course, reconstituted

And on a roll and cheese the sandwich spread gave extra tang


Rice only served for puddings or the jam with semolina

Would fill us up nutritiously, a change from apple pie

We’d never heard of tarte tatin or crème brulee or parfait

We had no need for yoghurt, fromage fais we’d never try


Our coffee made with chicory when Camp, uncontroversial

Provided a limp substitute for lattes or flat white

But anyway, ‘twas tea we drank or dandelion and burdock

And Ovaltine and Horlicks saw us safely through the night


Our bread came from the bakers’, freshly baked and warm and yeasty

And only those on Slimcea pretended they could fly

Potatoes from the garden needed washing before boiling

Till they were smashed by aliens descending from the sky


We never watched our waistlines, never dieted or worried

And couldn’t be allergic or we’d starve for lack of choice

But meals were hot and plentiful with things we knew the name of

Ah, dinners in the past would make today’s gourmets rejoice


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