Branwen boasted blatantly
Outrageous claims that couldn’t be
Soon every child had cause to doubt
The glittering lies she chose to spout
My iPhone’s gold, they heard her tell
Rihianna’s my best friend as well
In Paris where we climbed the tower
Her brolly thwarted every shower
And Simon has me on speed dial
My Adele impression made him smile
I babysit for Squid and Didd
So now I’m Eric’s favourite kid
My dad’s an airline pilot, see?
So we jet off to Hawaii-i
It only takes a couple of hours
Cos he’s got superhuman powers
He once outran a London bus
While wrestling with an octopus
And if I’m training in the pool
He sends the Bentley round the school
So life with me’s a laugh a minute
I’d love to share this good life – innit?
Adventures that will never end
Will anybody be my friend?