Branwen boasted blatantly

Outrageous claims that couldn’t be

Soon every child had cause to doubt

The glittering lies she chose to spout


My iPhone’s gold, they heard her tell

Rihianna’s my best friend as well

In Paris where we climbed the tower

Her brolly thwarted every shower


And Simon has me on speed dial

My Adele impression made him smile

I babysit for Squid and Didd

So now I’m Eric’s favourite kid


My dad’s an airline pilot, see?

So we jet off to Hawaii-i

It only takes a couple of hours

Cos he’s got superhuman powers


He once outran a London bus

While wrestling with an octopus

And if I’m training in the pool

He sends the Bentley round the school


So life with me’s a laugh a minute

I’d love to share this good life – innit?

Adventures that will never end

Will anybody be my friend?

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